Toefl stresinden sonra yazdığım yazı dizisidir, hadi ingilizcelerinizi çalıştırın bakayım:
Reading Section
(The following reading passage takes place in a world that the world war 2 occured in a different period of the time)
ananskim skywalker , born in erzurum in 1985, expertised in both computer enginering and mother fucking. He obtained work experiences during the world war 2. He travelled all the anatolia and found out the culture of the anatolia. By the year 2004, he met a girl named saslıhan in istanbul. He fell in love with her and suffered, though, he loved her so much.Marrying with saslıhan, he moved in Erzulüm in 2006. Between the years 2006-2008, he learned how to play with his cock and how to make it happy. Also, he tried to fuck saslıhan in the assss in these years.Nowadays, he is singing "uncle fucker" constantly and endlessly. This makes his neighbours distracted and annoyed. His neighbours say that he isn't a singer, but an asshole.
What does the author says assss in the 8th sentence?
a- he means that fucking people in the ass is a beneficial activity.
b- People generally uses their asses in order to be successful.
c-He means that it is a kind of having sex which can be done by the anal way
d- Obi Wan kedisi.
What can be inferred about ananskim skywalker?
a- he is an unclefucker. he neither sleeps nor eats, he fucks his uncle all day long.
b- he always fucks saslıhan in the ass
c- He doesn't know where his cock is
d- His voice is terrible
Where did ananskim get to know saslıhan?
a- istanbul
b- mustafar
c- outer haven
d- I don't know, only thing I know is how to do thesis enlargement.
When did anaskim get his work experiences?
a- When farted yoda did
b- before you were born
c- during the years when hitler ruled germany
d- When the satan was kicked out from the heaven
Reading passage 2
Asshole Licking
Asshole licking a method, developed by an alien named Voda(fone). When an ordinary day passes on, a fallen apple fell on Voda's head. When the apple fell on voda's head, voda felt that he could develop a method that can be used to improve asshole cells in a benefical way.That is, the cells could both continue to multiply constantly and give pleasure to the subject who has them. Voda made a number of mistakes in order to develop his method. Despite his all faults, he never quit trying so that he even licked his own ass and liked what he did. Consequently, Voda formed the final phrase of the method and told others how to do it properly. Nowadays, couples generally do this method in order to get more pleasure ,though, they get some diseases.
What is the name of the person who developed Ass Licking Method?
a- Voda
b- Anaconda
c- Soda
d- Ya habibi zumzuma
What fell on Voda's head?
a- a penis
b- an apple
c- an unidentified swimming object
d- the necronomicon
How can the asshole licking method be done?
a- By sucking Voda's dick
b- By finding a nice girl and making her turn her back
c- By playing Hideo games
d- Only thing that I know is how I fucked your mother.
What can be inferred about Voda?
a- He uses Vodefone as a mobile phone operator.
b- he usually lick his own ass
c- Voda is Yoda's Brother
d- He interacts with other people or aliens or whatever.
Which choice below is probably a disease that people get from asshole licking?
a- Lacking a penis( Thororosspusas)
b- aids ( monkey species have it and they are loving it)
c- Bacterias that occur on a tongue(Lasskopiaaat)
d- Throat cancer (derives from deep throat, don't suck cocks)
Reading Passage 3
The life of Dinazzor Mikky
Dinazzor Mikky,born in brazil in 1976, was a sith masterbationer. He learned how to play with his cock and how to use it much more efficent when he was 5. He met a prostetue, named Tırt Talon, he had sex with her a couple of times. He developed both sex and masterbation methods by using her. Also, he developed a sex method, called Kalma sıtra in which people fuck each other in the ass constantly and brutally.He even tried this method on his own body. Even though the method make people suffer, he loved it. When he was 31, he suffered from an illness whose symptoms are still a myth. By the year 2007, he was found by local police officers and there were artifical cocks in both his mouth and his ass.Nowadays, his contributions to the sex are being praised by all nations and all communities
What was the name of the girl whom Mikky met?
a- Aayla sikimama
b- tırt talon
c- Counselor Malpatine
d- I don't know, but I know how long a cock can be.
What can be inferred about Mikky?
A- He is a dinazor sikky
B- He likes Kalma sıtra
C- He slept with Counselor Malpatine
D- Sithtir git is his nickname
How did mikky die?
A- Bleeding from having sex with Mikky Mouse
B- There were 2 cocks in some holes around his body
C- He was code name 47's target
D- He commited a suicide by using his fart-saber
What are the symptoms of the illness which is mentioned in the passage?
A- They are unknown
B- Farting to die
C- Patient's Penis gets larger and longer
D- What the hell are you talking about,bitch?
