mexican loneliness

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    1.
  1. bir jack kerouac şiiri. üstadın "pomes all sizes" adlı eserinde yer almaktadır. "kicks joy darkness" adını taşıyan ve jack kerouac'a ithafen yapılmış müzikli okumalı albümde matt dillon'un sesinden dinlenir...

    "And I am an unhappy stranger
    grooking in the streets of Mexico-
    My friends have died on me, my
    lovers disappeared, my whores banned,
    my bed rocked and heaved by
    earthquake - and no holy weed
    to get high by candlelight
    and dream - only fumes of buses,
    dust storms, and maids peeking at me
    thru a hole in the door
    secretly drilled to watch
    masturbators fuck pillows -
    I am the Gargoyle
    of Our Lady
    dreaming in space
    gray mist dreams -
    My face is pointed towards Napoleon
    -- I have no form --
    My address book is full of RIP
    sI have no value in the void,
    at home without honour, -
    My only friend is an old fag
    without a typewriter
    Who, if he's my friend,
    I'll be buggered.
    I have some mayonnaise left,
    a whole unwanted bottle of oil,
    peasants washing my sky light,
    a nut clearing his throat
    In the bathroom next to mine
    a hundred times a day
    sharing my common ceiling -
    If I get drunk I get thirsty
    - if I walk my foot breaks down
    - if I smile my mask's a farce
    - if I cry I'm just a child -
    - if I remember I'm a liar
    - if I write the writing's done -
    - if I die the dying's over -
    - if I live the dying's just begun -
    - if I wait the waiting's longer
    - if I go the going's gone
    - if I sleep the bliss is heavy
    - the bliss is heavy on my lids
    - if I go to cheap movies
    the bedbugs get me -
    Expensive movies
    I can't afford
    - if I do nothing
    Nothing does"
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