you said i did not think about it. that is the problem maybe you did not think about me neither before nor after, you are my part of life in my situation you are the best of it but not always but sometimes l feel like that l am not part of life. there is an another issue, please don' t take it in a wrong way, it is because, of course i do not blame you for an question l never ask to you but yes, l could not even ask to you, i need a place to stay one night in city because of the time of my flight, l should be at airport at 6am it s not so possible to go from here at that time, l wanted to ask to you "may l stay in your place one night" but l just could not because l was afraid of your answer, l do not know even why and l was scared that the answer can destroy somethings inside of me, l don't want to hurt my feelings about you because l love all of them and feel very happy with them and somehow l just avoided that question to ask to you like a new year, l did not forget when you are in here but again l just could not ask because l knew the answer surprisingly and l knew that you did not include me whatever it is, l just told myself "okay, you can write him and ask maybe you are wrong, it s fucking new year maybe he also wants to be with you, you cannot know, if you don t ask him, there is a possibility to be mistaken in your view." so when i asked to you and when you said that l have another plan and l am not included, l did not surprise actually. 2 days ego kristijan told me "come on you are fucking instructor like a slave in the fucking school and you are a nice girl to fuck probably what the fuck are you thinking, your situation is just safe for him" and i said to him sorry you re wrong, l did not believe in him, because it was too offensive, too cruel, too simple. but maybe just simplicity, i am just in my room and in a week or in 2 weeks for once you are seeing me in my room without inviting your place. i don't know maybe l am wrong, kristijan is wrong, maybe you don't think like that because l feel that also you are very nice and happy when you are with me but why then the portrait is broken.
