it was in the winter of my fiftieth year
when it hit me
i was really alone
and there wasn't a hell a lot of time left
every laugh and touch that i could get
became more important
strangely, i became more bookish
and my home and study meant more to me
as i considered the circumstances of my death
i wanted to find a balance between joy and dignity
on my way out
above all, i didn't want to take any more shit
not from anybody
